IF MY MOM WAS STRICTER

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This year, I started making big decisions about how I want to show up for myself career-wise, the type of community I want to build on social media, and how God can use me. Regarding that last part, I realize now that it wouldn't have even been a thought had my mom been stricter or tried to play the role of a father as a single parent. What finally led me to seek God was my willingness to read. I read Genesis and thought about how wild the stories were, and then I'd relay them to my family. I continued reading while taking notes on God's role in every story. God's role in my own story was what I was missing all along: a father. After reading the Bible back-to-back, I kept returning to it. This time, my focus was on Jesus, and I started to perceive Him as a brother. In my mind, fathers are strict, but brothers can talk them down or help them see reason. It will all make sense when you read the Bible—I promise. My sweet mom, I now realize, is perfect just as God intended ...
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Being Childlike: God Is Sending Me Reminders

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I met Lucia, my primary school best friend and she reminded me of who I used to be, a glimpse of my past self.

As I was struggling to comprehend the horrible prices of chicken in the meat isle, someone calls me by name and who do you I see? My very bestie from 6th-7th grade. Ci ( my nickname for her). Grocery shopping with her family.

Now a mother of two beautiful girls, my girl was as bubbly as I remembered her and I was thrilled to meet her, our hug had a shimmy, if you know you know.
She tells me how she'd see my mom in public but never gets to see me. Her first compliment to me is how I lost weight and don't agree with her lol. She then continues to ask me.

" do you still sing"
No but I still love music.

"Do you still love rastafarians? "
Girl I haven't met one in a long time.

"Are you still as crazy as I remember?"
OH baby I'm as boring as they get.

Of course our conversation end with arrangements to meet for drinks.

For the whole week I've been playing our conversation in my head particularly how she remembers me.
I know people change especially as they they grow. But I didn't like how I was so closed off as soon as I changed location and got into high school meeting new friends.

Thing is I still sing but only in front of my family, while I cook and just because. Have I ever sang in front of my other friends since high school? No.

Somewhere along growing up I closed up the free spirited side of me. I laugh at instances like these one where I meet a glipse of my past self and I laugh while I say, it can only be God.

Yes, I want child-like freedom, best part is, as an adult not only can I distinguish right and wrong but I can still make choices.

Thanks to God for Lucia because now I know it was a sign that while I venture into writing and other things, I will do it with child-like faith.

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