IF MY MOM WAS STRICTER

Image
This year, I started making big decisions about how I want to show up for myself career-wise, the type of community I want to build on social media, and how God can use me. Regarding that last part, I realize now that it wouldn't have even been a thought had my mom been stricter or tried to play the role of a father as a single parent. What finally led me to seek God was my willingness to read. I read Genesis and thought about how wild the stories were, and then I'd relay them to my family. I continued reading while taking notes on God's role in every story. God's role in my own story was what I was missing all along: a father. After reading the Bible back-to-back, I kept returning to it. This time, my focus was on Jesus, and I started to perceive Him as a brother. In my mind, fathers are strict, but brothers can talk them down or help them see reason. It will all make sense when you read the Bible—I promise. My sweet mom, I now realize, is perfect just as God intended ...

Things That Makes Me Sad: Performative Era


Nothing is as frustrating as being at the age where you can do whatever you want, but the things you thought you'd do when you're grown are all tasteless.

I'm sitting with my mother, listening to Sade on YouTube. She's on her phone, I'm obviously on mine, but the mood is warm in this winter because of the beautiful melodies playing in the background. She starts to reminisce about the times she'd go to jazz festivals, and how back then the load of life was light.

As the song ends, I stop scrolling. A sense of sadness hits me.

I think about how lucky she is to have existed in a time where art was appreciated by autonomous minds. How they knew of an upcoming event through posters and word of mouth. And all they had to think about was what they were going to wear and how groovy it'll be there.

No matter how filled the location was, there was an air of excitement. People arrived with their camp chairs and cooler boxes to have a good time, not to capture a good time. "People valued quality over quantity," said my mom after I asked her about the energy around that time.

I tell her how much I couldn't wait to grow up to experience just that; however, this wish is crushed by a lack of authenticity because everything feels reworked. No originality, no soul. Aesthetics feel performed.

So even when I compile a playlist I keep going back to oldies, because even if I didn't exist in their time, it still takes you there. Cue I'll Take You There by BeBe & CeCe Winans. See? Even gospel had that rhythm.

I would love to go watch a movie and never have people's opinions about the movie shoved down my throat. LET ME WATCH SUPERGIRL IN PEACE!! PLEASE!!

See, with no opinions about the movie or the bad reviews, I get the perfect ending. Even if the ending or the whole film is not to anyone's liking, I'm not forced to conform to their comfort.

My dream performance currently is an intimate event by Masego the sax artist. With people's phones tucked away, just like my mother's experience, the crowd would be present for experience and enjoyment, not for clout.

Also, I'd love to dress like a gypsy-cowgirl-kingpin of the 70s without getting my picture taken for mockery on social media just because it makes them uncomfortable.

In the background the lyrics go, "good times they come and they go, never going to know what fate is going to blow your way, just hope it feels right," and mom sings along.

I desire a world of autonomous people. 

So I guess this is why I never grew on social media, even when I tried to create content. I just couldn't.

Ps; I posted a 3 min video on YouTube about my slow Sunday Evening. There'll be more.

What are the things that makes you sad about our world today?


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How to Support Small Businesses & Local Creators (Without Spending More )

How To Rest: Becoming A Rested Generation