A Grounding Crown: How I Find Peace In Doek

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Growing up in a household headed by my great-grandmother, I learned that she held many traditions in high esteem—one of them being that we must cover our heads during ceremonies.




​We would cover our heads during funerals, September thanksgiving, unveilings, and prayers or while visiting the grave site. This tradition was and is reserved for the women I believe in most cultures.

​Why? I never asked. I never felt the need to; in fact, I enjoyed it. It made me proud to be a part of the matriarchy. 

In 2021, when my sister came back from initiation school, I started reading the Bible. I don't know why, ask the Holy Spirit. And every time I did, I would wear a doek. Eventually, I started wearing it leisurely, using a "bad hair day" as an excuse, though I knew deep down I just loved how it felt.

I'm not saying the tradition was forced on to me but little girls do look up to their grounded adults, Sarah(my great-grammy) helped my mom raise us with love and support. And I won't stop honoring her starting with covering my head during appropriate times.


​How is it that wearing one can feel so grounding?

Yet, if I cut my hair and wear a headscarf, it somehow doesn't feel the same. It's a mystery to me, especially because I really want to retire with a pixie haircut and a doek on my head. You get the picture.


​I cannot wait to find ways to style my headscarves while still rocking a pixie or maybe a bob.

I wonder what it is that you enjoy doing that was taught to you by your elders. Do share fun stories about your upbringing. With that said, thank you for reading.

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